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HELLO AND WELCOME TO VHS WASTELAND, YOUR HOME FOR HIGH RESOLUTION SCANS OF RARE, STRANGE, AND FORGOTTEN VHS COVERS. EACH OF THESE BIZARRE GEMS IS SCANNED AT 200 DPI. SIMPLY CLICK ON THE THUMBNAIL OF ANY VHS COVER TO DOWNLOAD THE FULL HIGH RES FORMAT. WE WILL BE ADDING A NEW COVER DAILY, SO BOOKMARK THIS SITE AND CHECK BACK OFTEN. WE'D ALSO LOVE SUBMISSIONS FROM YOU. IF YOU HAVE A VHS THAT IS WEIRD OR RARE, JUST EMAIL US AT MADHATTERDESIGN@GMAIL.COM. REMEMBER TO SCAN THE FRONT, BACK AND SIDES OF THE VHS AT 300 DPI. WE WON'T ACCEPT LOW RESOLUTION FILES. WHILE YOU'RE HERE, GRABBING OUR AWESOME FREE VHS COVERS, FEEL FREE TO CLICK THE "DONATE" BUTTON ON THE LEFT. IF ENOUGH PEOPLE SEND US SOME CASH, WE MIGHT BE TEMPTED TO KEEP BRINGING YOU THE COOLEST, HIGH RES VHS COVERS ON THE NET. BUT IF YOU GREEDY, COVER GRABBING... I MEAN... YOU WONDERFUL VISITORS TO OUR SITE, DON'T COUGH UP A DONATION, MAYBE WE'LL JUST FIND SOMETHING BETTER TO DO WITH OUR TIME. LIKE GO MAKE NACHOS. MMMMM... NACHOS. SO HELP A BROTHA OUT AND DONATE A LITTLE DOUGH TO THE CAUSE.
LASTLY, WHY NOT VISIT OUR PARENT SITE (SERIALKILLERCALENDAR.COM). IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH VHS COVERS BUT I THINK YOU MIGHT BE PLEASANTLY SURPRISED BY WHAT YOU FIND. OR NOT. I DON'T KNOW YOU. MAYBE YOUR NOT SURPRISED BY ANYTHING. MAYBE YOUR THE KIND OF GUY THAT SEES A COW FALL OUT OF THE SKY AND EXPLODE LIKE A PIÑATA AND YOUR ALL LIKE "HUH, THAT WAS WEIRD." MAN. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU ANYWAY? JEEZ. SOME PEOPLE.
BUT NO. SERIOUSLY. GO BUY SOME CRAZY AWESOME TRUE CRIME MERCHANDISE AT SERIALKILLERCALENDAR.COM. INCLUDING THE SERIAL KILLER MAGAZINE, THE SERIAL KILLER TRADING CARDS AND MUCH MUCH MORE! DO IT. DO IT NOW. CLICK THE LINK. |
MARCH 11 2011 VHS COVER SCAN - CLICK FOR HIGH RES VERSION
CRAZE - SUBMITTED BY RYAN GELATIN
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DONT PLAY WITH TIGERS
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DU SANG POUR DRACULA - SUBMITTED BY VINCENT KAVAKO
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CIRCUITRY MAN 2 - SUBMITTED BY GEMIE FORD
REVIEW OF CIRCUITRY MAN 2 - FROM THEONELINER.COM
Released in 1994, certified UK-18. Reviewed on 22 Apr 2003 by Scott Morris
Vernon Wells you may remember as the unwittingly hilarious Bennett from Commando. Here, having seemingly eaten a whale in the intervening time he assumes the role of Plughead, a cyborg type fellow who is inexplicably addicted to other people's pain, extracting said feeling by use of some low-tech torture machines and then laughing maniacally. In a seemingly unrelated plot strand, he has created a chip which when plugged into a common or garden human extends their life by ten years.
Clearly this cannot be allowed to continue, so government agent Kyle enlists the help of Danner, the Circuitry Man to stop what turns out to be an evil plan to control the minds of humans everywhere. In a seemingly unrelated plot strand, two bumbling cops fly around randomly in a prototype land speeder thing in search of something, presumably. In a seemingly unrelated plot strand Plughead bribes and blackmails Traci Lords to continue making the life-extending chips. In a seemingly unrelated plot strand two convicts escape from their captors and stumble off towards Plughead's Brazilian lair. They all join up at the end so at least they can stagger around unrelatedly in the same shot. Meanwhile, a falling safe crushes a guard. No, seriously. Can this movie overcome abysmal acting, a script that isn't even worthy of ridicule, and special effects that Ed Wood would wrinkle his nose in disgust over to become greater than the sum of it's parts?
No, it's bloody awful.
I prefer to think of this more as an elaborate practical joke than a film, or at least an experiment into how bad a film can get before the celluloid it's printed on gets too embarrassed and self-ignites. It's rare that there is absolutely nothing positive to say about a movie, but this is truly a benchmark in awfulness. It isn't even fun to dissect and poke fun at, unlike Cyber Tracker.
I hope everyone involved in this movie feels ashamed and dirty. This is the cinematic equivalent of a sharp kick in the balls but with more pain and less swelling, although the scars remain for so much longer. This film will haunt the viewer for years after the credits roll, taunting them with it's ludicrous, ill-defined plot and almost indescribable stench of abject failure to do anything right. The Holocaust was less upsetting than this film.
Were I in the business of passing quantifiable judgements, this would make me give up. As I'm not, it can only get a big fat 0/5 Tippymarks which is so much more than it deserves. I'm going to kill myself now. Death is the only true release from this nightmare.
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THE GREATEST ADVENTURE OF THE BIBLE : THE EASTER STORY
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KILLER ALIEN
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METAL BEAST
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TIDAL WAVE : NO ESCAPE - SUBMITTED BY GEMIE FORD
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THE LAST HUNTER
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BRAIN OF BLOOD
REVIEW OF BRAIN OF BLOOD - FROM ESPLATTER.COM
A masterpiece of incredibly inept filmmaking, "Brain of Blood" opens up with what is obviously a postcard of a Middle Eastern palace (the people shown in the image are frozen in time), to show us a dying Arab leader. His followers decide to transplant the dictator's brain into a new body—that of a hulking monster! His body, wrapped in tinfoil, is transported to a doctor (Williams) in the U.S.
Stunningly bad acting, hilarious stock horror movie music, a midget medical assistant (who torments women in a dungeon during his spare time) and unbelievable special effects make this an almost-classic that has to be seen to be believed.
The inept, oat-meal-like monster make-up effects are also a riot. Despite the almost total lack of prosthetic technology, the film managed to pull off a mildly gruesome brain transplant scene. Not as funny as some of Adamson's other works—or most of the material cranked out by Herschell Gordon Lewis ("Blood Feast"). But it's nonetheless a great bad-movie.
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MACHISMO
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GATE 2
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M.R.C.V. DER KILLERROBOT
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CHIP N DALE RESCUE RANGERS : CRIME BUSTERS
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MARCH 11 VHS MOVIE REVIEW : NEW YEAR'S EVIL (1980)
Radio personality Diane Sullivan (Roz Kelly), who uses the on-air moniker "Blaze", is hosting a live televised punk rock New Year's Eve music countdown in L.A., when she gets a call from someone named "Evil" (he uses a voice-disguising gadget) who tells her that he is going to kill someone at the strike of midnight on each of the U.S. time zones. Blaze asks Lt. Clayton (Chris Wallace) to protect her and he sets up a phone tap. Meanwhile, someone has killed Blaze's assistant before the show and her son Derek (Grant Cramer) is having bad headaches. As the clock strikes midnight in New York (EST), Evil (disguised as an orderly) kills a nurse at the Crawford Sanitarium and records the murder on a cassette tape. He then calls Blaze, plays the tape and tells her he will kill again in an hour, when the clock strikes twelve in Chicago (CST). Evil slaps on a fake moustache and a polyester suit and goes to a disco. He picks up two women and tells them that they are going to a "party at Erik Estrada's pad". He stops at a liquor store, sends one girl inside for champagne and suffocates the other girl with a plastic bag over her head and kills the other girl in a dumpster as the clock hits midnight in Chicago. He records both murders and calls Blaze, telling her he will be killing again when the clock strikes twelve in Aspen, Colorado (MST). Dressed as a priest, Evil has a close call with a pack of bikers at a drive-in (where a trailer for Cannon Film's BLOOD FEAST/BLOOD BATH double feature is playing) and steals a car with a half-naked teenage girl in the back. She manages to get away and he chases her into a stadium, but a cop intervenes before he is able to kill her. Back at the studio, Derek is walking around in the shadows with a red stocking over his face, looking like some perverted rapist. Evil knocks out a cop, steals his uniform and enters the heavily-guarded studio. It's at this time we find out that Evil is actually Blaze's husband Richard (Kip Niven) and what his motivations for the killings were. He was an ex-patient at the Crawford Sanitarium and he's not too happy about the way she's treating their son (truth be told, she is a pretty shitty mother). I know it makes no sense, but that's the best explanation you're gonna get. In the finale, as Richard sets up his wife to take a big fall (he takes one instead), we learn that old saying, "Like Father, Like Son" couldn't be truer. Directed without much verve by Emmett Alston (DEMONWARP - 1988), this film could pass for a TV movie if it weren't for the infrequent gore and nudity. It's also kind of hard to root for Blaze when Roz Kelly plays her as such an insufferable, uncaring manipulative bitch. At the end of the film, you kind of hope Richard does her in. When he puts a chain around her neck and handcuffs her to the undercarriage of an elevator and sends her for a ride up and down the shaft, you'll hope she ends up crushed when she reaches the basement. Unfortunately, it doesn't happen, but there's still hope as the film fades to black (seems we all forgot that Hawaii has a separate time zone, too). Not very bloody or exciting, scripter Leonard Neubauer does throw in a few funny lines, such as when one of the disco chicks says to the other as she is spouting the benefits of transcendental meditation to Richard while they are in the car: 'Whatever comes into your head comes right out your mouth!" It's hard to believe that, for a four hour live show, only two bands would play ("Shadow" and "Made In Japan") and their playlist would consist of five songs total (and not very good songs at that). Even if it were a free show, I would demand something back. NEW YEAR'S EVIL is a pretty poor slasher flick that copies some of Harry Manfredini's cues from FRIDAY THE 13TH, made the same year. Emmett Alston would also later go on to write the screenplay for the much-superior HUNTER'S BLOOD (1987). Watch that instead. Produced by Cannon Films founders Yoram Globus and Menahem Golan. Also starring Louisa Moritz, Jed Mills, Taaffe O'Connell, Teri Copley and John Alderman. Originally released on VHS by Paragon Video and later by Cannon Video (through Warner Bros). No legal DVD release in the States yet. Rated R. { text from critcononline.com }
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