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AUGUST 2 VHS MOVIE REVIEW : BAD CHANNELS
From badmovies.org

The Characters:

The Plot: Not only does this movie have Martha Quinn running around, it features an alien collecting sexy women. If I was an alien visiting our planet the trip would be planned around rock n roll and Earth chicks too. This visitor packed all the essentials: robot, menacing spacesuit, specimen tube, and multipurpose wand of death. You have to check this thing out, it disintigrates the fast food delivery boy, electrocutes the robot, and causes a lethal case of jock itch to humans. You heard me, jock itch, you don't want to see some guy with a carpet of that on his chest, but you will. Dangerous Dan is back on the air after a six month suspension, he had sex with his previous station's traffic reporter while on the air. (The movie beat me to all the bumper to bumper jokes.) Now Dan is taking over Super Station 66, the only radio franchise authorized to broadcast on 666 AM. He's going to transform the old polka (Arrgggghhh! Sorry, polka flashback.) channel into the wildest rock and roll experience on the planet. Too bad for our man Dan the invader shows up, quickly taking over the station as part of it's plan. By playing certain songs it homes in on hot women then shrinks/teleports them into twelve inch tall bottles. Presumably for transport back to Planet Boogerhead, this thing had the bumpiest, nastiest noggin... ...until the spacesuit pops and out jumps a killer rhododendron. Our hero the disc jockey must save the day solo, everyone thinks his broadcast pleas for help are a skit. Armed with the powerful disinfectant "Germasol" he frees the ladies and defeats the alien. Check out the odd music videos women hallucinate before being teleported, I liked the "I'm so happy" song. ("Manic Depresso" is the real name.) Having a nurse strip down to garters and a chemise helped of course, not to mention a nun playing guitar, a man wearing a cow suit, and one dozen lobotomy patients.

Things I Learned From This Movie: