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JUNE 5 VHS MOVIE REVIEW : ANTHROPOPHAGOUS : THE BEAST
FROM BRAIN EATER AT SICK-FILMS.COM

A GROUP OF TOURISTS take a boat ride to a deserted island and are stalked by a cannibalistic castaway with a penchant for bodily dismemberment. Over six feet tall, balding, and with a beard, the titular monster - played by Italian exploitation legend George Eastman (real name Luigi Montefiore) - is both hilarious and terrifying at the same time.

The body count begins to rack up the moment the film begins, with a young couple attacked on a beach while their dog looks on. The young man meets his death while wearing the biggest set of headphones you've ever seen, which are absolutely no protection against a meat cleaver in the face, it seems.

This is small beans compared to what happens to the main group of (six) protagonists. After some initial chat, a boat ride, and 20 minutes of the film's running time, they reach the island. Two stay on the boat, while others explore. Quickly the explorers begin to realise that something is very wrong when they find that the place is deserted, bar a few desiccated corpses. Back at the boat, things take a turn for the worst when pregnant Maggie (Serena Grandi) discovers her friend's severed head in a bucket, before disappearing. Then the boat floats out to sea, leaving everyone stranded on the island.

As night falls the remaining group find a blind girl hiding in a barrel, then split up to aimlessly run around in the dark like annoying dickheads. Thankfully the Anthro monster turns up to make his first proper appearance - in the room where the blind girl is sleeping. The girl's screams bring ginger-haired dork Daniel (Mark Brodin) to the rescue, but it's a pathetic counter-attack and he's killed when he's thrown onto the floor and has his throat bitten out.

Andy (Saverio Vallone) then goes looking for his missing pregnant wife, eventually finding her in an underground crypt full of skeletons and squeaking bats (only Italian film-makers think that bats squeak like guinea pigs). As the couple stand to leave they are confronted by the glaring monster who is blocking their exit. "It's our baby! Go away!" pleads Andy pathetically, before (apparently) meeting his maker. The monster then turns to the pregnant woman to enact one of the most reviled scenes in cinema history. He pushes out her unborn baby, holds it up, then takes a bite out of it!

Without giving too much of the ending away: the final scenes - in which the monster chases Julie out of a well (that they fall into) - are quite tense. The icing on the cake, though, comes when the cannibal hooligan is skewered on a pickaxe, making him pull out his guts and chew on them in a final act of monsterly defiance! It's a classic ending for a truly sick and twisted film!