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APRIL 13 VHS MOVIE REVIEW : GARDEN OF THE DEAD (1972)

Out of all the zombie films I have viewed over the years, this one holds the title in the following three categories: 1 - It's the shortest (59 minutes); 2 - It's the cheapest (it looks like it was filmed for around $59.00; and, 3 - it's mind-numbingly dumb (written by someone with an IQ of 59). The threadbare plot concerns a bunch of prison camp inmates who manufacture formaldahyde (huh?) for the camp's sadistic warden. The inmates also endlessly sniff the formaldahyde to get high and plan to escape the prison camp. They steal a truck with barrels of formaldahyde and speed off to freedom. Unfortunately, the warden is wise to their plan and ambushes them, causing the inmates to crash the truck, not only killing them but also drenching them in spilled formaldahyde. The warden orders the other inmates to bury them (in what has to be the shallowest graves ever committed to film) and to keep their mouths shut. Wouldn't you know it? The dead inmates rise from their dirt blankets to exact revenge for their deaths. Their only weakness: Light. Any kind of light. Flashlights, headlights, lightbulbs, etc. While the living population of the prison camp try to keep the generator going, the formaldahyde zombies pick them off one-by-one. Where do I start to describe what's wrong with this dizzying exercize in ineptitude? For starters, there's no blood! I've often heard rumors that there's a longer version available, but so far that's all it is: a rumor. The version I viewed is rated PG and it does show some jump cuts which does make me believe that it's edited. Garden tools are shown thrusting down on the victims but never hitting them. If you look closely, you can see blood on the garden tools. That's all the blood on view here. The zombies are another cheap creation. This was an early job for Joe Blasco (who created and played the creature in TRACK OF THE MOONBEAST - 1972) and it looks like he slapped some green-gray makeup on their faces and blackened out their eyes. Their hands look completely normal. The disintegration scenes consist of the zombies letting an Alka-Seltzer dissolve in their mouths. Add to that: a prison a blind man could escape from; total lapses of logic, reason or continuity and absolutely no foul language or sex and you come up with a film that should be viewed only while under the influence of a controlled substance (formaldahyde will do). Directed rather shabbily by the late John Hayes, who has done much better. See DREAM NO EVIL and GRAVE OF THE VAMPIRE (both 1973) for Hayes' career highlights. GARDEN OF THE DEAD (aka TOMB OF THE UNDEAD and GRAVE OF THE UNDEAD) stars John Dennis (THE SLAMS - 1973), Eric Stern (THE LOVE BUTCHER - 1975), Duncan McCloud (BLACK GODFATHER - 1974), Carmen Filpi (ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK - 1981) and a cameo appearance by Lee Frost. A Retromedia Entertainment DVD Release.  Rated PG. { text from critcononline.com }