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SERIAL KILLER CALENDAR: THIS DAY IN SERIAL KILLER HISTORY BOOK
PRICE : $19.95

This perfect bound Serial Killer Calendar book includes detailed facts and trivia about serial killers for every day of the year. It also includes the best true crime artwork from around the world. Want to know what happened today in serial killer history? Its all in this one massive collection of true crime information. This is the perfect gift for any fan of history, murderabelia or the macabre.



 
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DEAD KIDS - SUBMITTED BY RYAN GELATIN

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DEAD KIDS - SUBMITTED BY RYAN GELATIN, VHS COVERS

REVIEW OF DEAD KIDS (1981)

From bloody-disgusting.com

Severin Films’ boner for Ozploitation flicks has led to some pretty sweet home video releases, including Nightmares (aka Stage Fright) and Australia After Dark. Recently they released Blu-rays of Thirst and Patrick, along with the 2.5-hour jackpot of trailer compilations, Ozploitation Trailer Explosion. Also new to Blu-ray is the ’80s oddity called Dead Kids. Released in the U.S. under the title Strange Behavior, Michael Laughlin’s bizarre amalgam combines a mad scientist flick with a teen slasher, resulting in an absolute genre blast that’s got a few nice tricks up its sleeve.

In the sleepy little suburb of Galesburg, Illinois, a series of stabbings has police chief John Brady baffled. While he tries to get to the bottom of the murders, his son Pete volunteers for a paid psychological experiment at his college. Pete’s not really sure what the hell the experiment is about, all he’s knows is that he gets $100 each time he shows up. For a kid dreaming of life beyond the sticks, that’s a nice chunk of change for the moving fund.

After his first session at the lab, Pete is feeling so good he asks out the receptionist Caroline (Dey Young from Rock ‘n’ Roll High School). As romance blooms between those two, John Brady realizes he may have a personal connection to the killings. In between heavy swigs of Budweiser, he notices that the corpses are pointing to the work of notorious scientist Dr. Le Sange, who Brady blames for the death of his wife. The only hitch is that Le Sange died years ago. OR DID HE?!?!

For an ’80s horror film, Dead Kids is very slow paced. I typically enjoy a slow burn, but there needs to be interesting characters to fill it out. The players here aren’t particularly engaging, though they have a really strong communal vibe going on. John and Pete Brady (Michael Murphy and Dan Shor) have a believable father-son relationship – one that’s haunted by the death of Mrs. Brady. John finds a love interest in Barbara (Louise Fletcher), a woman who wishes he would move on from his troubled past. There’s also Peter’s best bud Oliver and John’s assistant at the police station (played by prolific character Charles Lane). All these characters make up a solid rural community that’s the perfect stage for a bizarro serial killer mind control slasher.

The killings are done very well, with help from makeup effects by Craig Reardon (Poltergeist and a million other awesome movies). In the wake of popular slashers like Friday the 13th, it would’ve been easy (and safe) to simply one-up the gore and sensationalism. Dead Kids‘ murders contain a bit more panache though. Something as simple as a stabbing or as disturbing as a human scarecrow with its eyes gouged out are treated with equal amounts of delicacy. The deaths really get under your skin rather than try to gross you out.

While the butchery is all well and good, my favorite scene involves a failed murder attempt. The killer, wearing a Tor Jonson (Plan 9) mask, chases a girl from the woods to a house party. The revelry inside drowns out her screams as the killer tries to stab her in a pool. The killer waves his knife around as he tries to stab her like 1,000 times, making him look totally inept. He looks really disinterested in actually killing her too, but it’s still a fantastic scene, one that follows up a kick ass costume party dance number scored to Lou Christie’s “Lightin’ Strikes” no less. It’s so ridiculous, I love it.

Dead Kids ends on a surprisingly happy note for an ’80s slasher. There’s none of the cynicism that’s found in many of the genre entries of the time, just another reason its an oddity. A lot of people may be turned off by the languid pacing and overly-serious tone, so it’s probably wise to rent it first.

A/V:

I’ve never seen the previous DVD releases of Dead Kids from Elite and Synapse, but I’m going to assume they don’t look as good as Severin’s Blu-ray release. It was sourced from the original camera negative, which sports a really drab color palette. There’s minimum damage to the picture and the transfer looks pretty damn clear, though there are random soft spots peppered throughout. The mono track sounds fine, with lots of nice ambiance from Tangerine Dream’s original score.

Special Features:

Severin has included two commentary tracks. The one featuring co-writer Bill Condon and actors Dan Shor and Dey Young was previously on the DVD releases and is a real lively track that covers a lot of fun tidbits of information. This is the one to listen to if you only have the patience for one commentary track. The other track is a new one featuring director Michael Laughlin. His is a much more dull commentary, covering the regular string of behind the scenes info.

Another new feature is a 20 minute look at the film’s effects with Craig Reardon. This is a great interview and really shows how everything was really thrown together last minute for the film. Reardon had to make up a lotta shit as he went along. Reardon also goes into his post-Dead Kids career. It’s a really impressive look at a really talented guy.

Rounding out the disc is an isolated score track if you’re really in the mood for some Tangerine Dream and a couple trailers.

 


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MONSTER IN THE CLOSET

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REVIEW OF MONSTER IN THE CLOSET (1986)

From horrorphilia.com

Monster in the Closet is a spoof of horror/monster films. After several people and a dog are found dead in their closets a “mild-mannered” reporter, a college professor, her son and a befuddled professor band together to uncover the mystery but not without involving the U.S. Army and mass panic. The movie then goes into wink wink territory when we soon learn that our monster gets it’s power from the closet. And soon it finds our male lead and tries to take it back inside the closet with him!..See the metaphor??

Well, we have a Troma film from the 80s here. That in it’s self should tell you all you need to know right there. The film is filled with goofy jokes, characters, and moments. And while it’s good for a laugh or two in spots, it’s not anything that you will want to send a letter home to momma about. The film is never serious (and it wasn’t meant to be) as it goes along it’s way. And we have a series of people get offed by a strange monster in a closet and while it makes you wait for a good look at the monster, the monster does a least look soo bad it’s memorable. So if you are a big fan of that sorta campy stuff you shouldn’t take too big of an issue with the film overall.

The film does have some very annoying moments. There’s a sound used to bring out the monster that is totally annoying and overused. Some of the characters are like the human version of nails on chalkboard. But then at the same time, we do have a few fun moments and our male and female lead aren’t that bad in a silly kind of way. There’s a kid named the professor that is a fun character too. But the monster and all his ridiculousness is probably the star of the show overall, as it should be. The film is harmless when you take all things into consideration, it is somewhat fun, but I wouldn’t go into watching it looking for anything that you will remember much about a few days after seeing it.


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CASTLE OF THE WALKING DEAD

CASTLE OF THE WALKING DEAD VHS COVER, VHS COVERS

REVIEW OF CASTLE OF THE WALKING DEAD (1967)

From thetelltalemind.com

No matter how one watches this film, whether as Castle of the Walking Dead, The Blood Demon, The Torture Chamber of Dr. Sadism or any of the other innumerable titles it has, it ends up being a highly atmospheric and extremely enjoyable horror movie starring the one and only Christopher Lee.

Here, Lee plays Count Regula, a man who kills young virgin women to further his life through an elixir of his own making. It all comes crashing down though when one of his victims escapes and he is executed when the truth comes out. Years later, the man is resurrected and now looks to finish what he started all those decades earlier with the help of one last sacrifice – the Baroness Lilian von Brabant. Her lawyer, Roger Mont Elise is determined for that not to be the case.

While one would think that Lee would be the villain to watch out for in the film, it is his servant Anatol who helps to revive his master and almost steals the show from under the legendary actor. Where Lee might rule and order within, it is Carl Lange’s Anatol who carries those orders out as he sees fit and diabolically so for the most part. Lee is good as he always tends to be, but here, Lange gives him a run for his money with hero Lex Barker and leading lady Karin Dor not even coming close performance-wise. As for the latter two, they do well enough, but this movie belongs to the bad guys and it clearly shows.

While the actors are good, it is that which surrounds them that truly makes the movie as great and as memorable and as it is. Whether it is the castle of Count Regula and its rooms of torture and grotesqueries, its hideous reliefs and paintings or the road leading to it that Roger and the Baroness must travel over, a road strewn with bodies while more hang in the trees – a literal forest of dread, the setting is just as important as it sets the stage for what is to come. Director Harald Reinl paints an eerie picture and while Lee might be an imposing figure and Lange a little more than frightening, they would not be as such if they were not surrounded by horror.

Castle of the Walking Dead is an underrated gem of a movie, one that perhaps gets overlooked due to more popular fare from Hammer Films at the time which would also showcase Lee in a starring role more often than not. La Tredicesima Vergine, Blood of the Virgins, La Fosse Aux Serpents – however one ends up seeing this film and no matter the title, seeking it out and seeing it is definitely worth the effort.


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DEADTIME STORIES - SUBMITTED BY GEMIE FORD

DEADTIME STORIES, VHS COVERS - SUBMITTED BY GEMIE FORD

REVIEW OF DEADTIME STORIES (1986)

From oh-the-horror.com

"Once upon a time, there was a little girl named "Rachel." Actually, she wasn't all that little. She was a hot-looking high school senior with deep blue eyes, and fine, firm breasts and..."
"That's not the way Mommy tells it!"
"Shut up, that's the way I tell it."


I suppose it helps to be around the same age as Brian (Brian DePersia), the pint-sized protagonist of Deadtime Stories, to appreciate where this scrappy, virtually homemade 80s anthology is coming from. Not that it’s explicitly made for small kids, nor is it particularly appropriate for them—it’s just that it certainly appeals to those among that age group that craved the kind of lurid, bloody thrills of Deadtime Stories before they should have. I presume that includes most of us, the lifelong horror fans who would wait all weekend to pluck what should have been forbidden fruits from video store shelves and delight in scary stories. Like Brian, we were likely surrounded by little Monster Kid trinkets—a figurine here, a poster there—so we understood the fun of being terrified.

Deadtime Stories gets that. It’s a silly omnibus marked by playfulness and a willingness to engage the lizard parts of a pre-adolescent brain that only craves blood, breasts, and beasts. What it lacks in seriousness it most certainly makes up for with an impish glee to twist well-known bedtime stories into wholly inappropriate horror riffs—this is a film that’s gleefully, totally wrong, and its commitment to this makes it a worthwhile (if not a tad perfunctory) entry in the 80s anthology canon.

Writer/director Jeffrey Delman’s playfulness is evident almost immediately, as Deadtime Stories opens with a familiar, roving POV shot of someone stalking through a suburban house. It’s a crude riff on Halloween’s famous opener, complete with ominous music and a prowling, unseen menace prowling about. In this case, though, the “menace” turns out to be Uncle Mike (Michael Mesmer), an exasperated middle-aged guy who just wants to bury himself in a recliner and sip on booze as quickly as possible. Before he can do that, however, he has to tuck nephew Brian into bed by regaling him with a bedtime story. No basic story will settle, either, as the tyke demands his uncle to make up one on the fly, which yields a trio of deranged fairy tales.

The first whisks audiences away to the Black Forest, where a young man (Scott Valentine) serves as a slave to two diabolical witches. When these two sisters aren’t seducing local priests and harvesting unsuspecting virgins for body parts, they’re plotting to resurrect their long-dead sister. After decades of waiting, the conditions are right: a rare moon will hang in the sky, and their slave has unwittingly provided them with a young girl with whom he’s smitten. Because this opener was originally conceived as a feature length film, it’s perhaps not surprising that it’s the best segment here. While the story is thin, it nonetheless coasts on a wave of nice gore effects, including a severed hand gag and the sickest resurrection scene this side of Dracula: Prince of Darkness. It’s a tremendous display of gnarly, goopy nastiness that cuts right to the heart of what Deadtime Stories is up to: this is unrepentant junk that wouldn’t scare a kid as much as it would actually delight them.

Of course, there’s an inherent problem with an opening anthology segment being the best, as the rest of Deadtime Stories slowly deflates. The second segment is an admittedly clever riff on “Little Red Riding Hood,” at least in concept: gone is the fairy tale woods setting, here replaced with suburbia, where a high school teenager has to deliver some medication to her elderly grandmother. Along the way, a mix-up at the pharmacy results in a local werewolf’s (yes) drug fix being sent to the old lady’s house, much to her grisly misfortune. Honestly, only the familiar characters make this a “Riding Hood” tale—really, it’s just a typical 80s teen horror movie, complete with gratuitous nudity, copious screwing, and eventual bloodshed. It just happens to feature a werewolf instead of the usual slasher maniac, and it’s fine if not unremarkable. The wolf effects are passable, as is a cool gag involving a cake knife to the neck, but it’s hardly the splatter show you might expect following the opening vignette.

If the silliness of Deadtime Stories weren’t obvious enough, the final segment leaves no doubt. It’s here that the anthology becomes a fully unhinged farce, as Uncle Mike warps “Goldilocks and the Three Bears” into a wild affair involving a lunatic family (headed by Melissa Leo’s “Mama Bear”) escaping an asylum. Yes, these are “The Bears,” who return home only to stumble upon “Goldi Lox” (Cathryn de Prume), a young girl who has run away from home and shacked up in the family’s house. The twist? This Goldilocks is also fucking insane and has filled the Bear Family mansion full of cadavers of would-be young lovers. Because people in blood-stained glass houses cannot throw stones, the Bears take her in as an honorary member of the family, leading to some terminally silly exploits as the group tries to outwit the completely witless police.

This closing segment is clearly the signature episode of Deadtime Stories—which is not to say it’s the best so much as it’s just the most indelible. Leo is especially delightful as the scenery-devouring matriarch, and the entire thing unfolds with the breathless energy of a child’s imagination (or, in this case, an irritated adult doing everything he can to entertain a child). You can easily sense it being made up on the fly: “and then the Bears find Goldi Lox, who is surrounded by corpses. And then she becomes part of the family, and then she starts screwing the dimwitted Bear son. And then, her orgasm causes her telekinetic powers to go haywire.” Yes, this Goldilocks fucks. And has telekinetic powers. Eat your heart out, Carrie. What an odd note to end on, and, even though its brand of broad, silly humor isn’t exactly my speed, I can’t deny how singularly weird it is, at least. It’s nothing if not memorable, since I imagine it’s easily the most infamous segment from Deadtime Stories.

The capper also best reflects the demented spirit of Delman’s wacky anthology, which, if you recall, is framed by an adult relaying these extremely fucked up tales to a small child. During the course of the film, Uncle Mike emerges as quite the character, if only because his stories are so hilariously wrong-headed in this context. I’m thinking especially about a sequence early in the second segment where the main girl all but explicitly and gratuitously masturbates in front of a mirror for a good minute or so—great babysitting, Mike! (Of course, it should be noted that this scene was inserted at the behest of distributors who demanded something more titillating, so we shouldn’t judge Delman and company too harshly here.)

At any rate, this frame story—which climaxes with poor Brian being terrorized instead of his asshole uncle—is just as instrumental in capturing the wickedly inappropriate verve of Deadtime Stories. Delman occasionally finds a thrillingly spooky moment, like when Brian suddenly finds himself looking around his eerily calm, still room, where his horror figurines and posters suddenly turn a bit sinister under the glow of moonlight. Larry Juris’s score finds some rare unnerving notes here as Delman manages effectively recall those moments from childhood that are almost irrationally creepy. We know there’s no real monster out to get us—or is there? Such moments are fleeting, though, in Deadtime Stories, an omnibus that’s otherwise preoccupied with schlocky entertainment.

It’s perhaps only a few steps removed from the backyard DIY projects that would pop up throughout the 80s, as it can at least boast the participation of actual film students, who spent a few years stitching together this crazy patchwork quilt. The result comes off as feeling like Creepshow Lite, and it’s probably little too silly for its own good, but it’s quite endearing. Its heart is in both the right and wrong places, which is generally what you want from this sort of thing.

Deadtime Stories is now available on a DVD/Blu-ray combo pack courtesy of Scream Factory. Special features include an audio commentary and on-camera interview with Delman, a retrospective featuring Leo (!), de Prume, and Valentine, some promotional art, and a trailer. Also included are a handful of deleted scenes and the original, 30-minute version of “The Black Forest.”

 


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THE INITIATION

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BUMPETY BOO : THE MAD MOBILE

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THE VIDEO DEAD

THE VIDEO DEAD VHS COVER, VHS COVERS

REVIEW OF THE VIDEO DEAD (1987)

From horrorandsons.com

It was 1987. The streets were awash in denim and Aqua Net. The world had just fallen in love with a new pop princess. The voice of a new generation. A generation full of hope and possibilities.

The voice…..  of Debbie

I had just turned the ripe old age of 11 and with that came the stresses and worries that plagued many 11-year-old lives back in those days.

When was I going to Pizza Hut for my free personal pizza? I didn’t read these damned books for nuthin’.”

Where are the silver arrows that I need from Dungeon 9?”

How had the Ochmonek’s not seen ALF yet? That guy is always getting into some kind of comical mischief. Oh, my sides!”

My local Mom & Pop at the time was a place called One Stop Video. At least, I think it was. That was a long ass time ago and I tend to forget a lot of shit. Compared to a lot of the Mom & Pop’s that I frequented over the many moves of my childhood, One Stop was always very well-lit. They did keep their horror movies tucked around a corner as most video stores of the time did, but even then it was right next to the main window, so the chances of getting molested were pretty slim. I don’t think they had a porn section, so you would be forced to find other outlets to shake your love to.

One Stop was located next to the only grocery store in the town I lived in, so I would always go with my mom on her shopping trips just so I could spend that time choosing from that week’s new selection of movies & NES games. As Mom would frequently forget to retrieve me before she took the groceries home, I’d usually have plenty of time to gaze over all of the VHS cover art. Let’s face it, VHS cover art was always more enticing and usually more misleading. Didn’t you rent Chopping Mall thinking that you were going to see chopped-up body parts in a shopping bag?

Honestly, none of this is relevant. There is no story about how I rented this as a child and how it played a role in making me what I am today. I could sit here and make up some bullcrap experience full of revelations for you, but it would all be false. As real as it may seem, it was only in my dreams. I’m pretty sure that I never even saw The Video Dead on the shelves of One Stop. This was all just a weak attempt to reflect back to 1987, when the film was released. I do remember seeing it in 1989 at another local Mom & Pop called Video Thyme. I didn’t rent it then either. I guess that’s a good thing since I’m sure that no one wants me to start making Martika references.

Released to stores in the winter of 87, The Video Dead was yet another in the flood of low-budget horror titles that would just randomly appear on the shelves of local video stores during the mid/late 80’s. As a kid, this was an amazing time as there was always something new to watch and there would always be some new thrill waiting for you as you popped open that clamshell and slid that tape into the VCR. There’s no point talking about the stars of the film as most of them never did anything else.

The film opens with a delivery truck pulling up to a house in what appears to be a quiet neighborhood. Notice that our 2 delivery men are wearing uniforms that state that they work for a “Hi-Lite Moving Service”. If you were paying attention during the opening credits (and seeing as you are reading this review and not actually watching the movie, it’s a safe bet that you weren’t), you might notice that the film was produced by a “Highlight Productions”. I take it that someone was awfully proud of the work that they were doing here.

Our 2 delivery guys unload a huge wooden crate from the back of the truck. No, the crate does not contain “Fluffy” from Creepshow. I wish it did as that might make this movie a little more entertaining. Our delivery men are at the house of a Mr. Henry Jordan. As expected, Jordan is quite surprised as he is not expecting any deliveries. When he is told that there is no COD, Jordan accepts the crate. Other people’s belongings are always nicer when they are free. Jordan takes the box inside and promptly opens it, wherein he finds a TV. An old TV. Like with knobs and shit.

We cut to later that night where we find Jordan at his typewriter working on who knows what. Intrigued by his new “gift”, Jordan turns on the TV. After flipping a few channels, Jordan comes across an old black and white zombie flick titled “Zombie Blood Nightmare”. This, folks, is not a real movie. If so, I would be reviewing it. Jordan, probably more of a vampire fan, quickly turns the TV off. The TV, like Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction, will NOT be ignored and turns itself back on. Jordan unplugs the TV and heads to bed. In what is one of the coolest scenes of the movie (and that’s not saying much), the TV turns itself back on and starts pumping fog from its screen as the zombies from the film crawl their way out into our reality. They then head to Jordan’s room where we are left to assume that he is their latest victim.

Fun Fact: In the background of Jordan’s study can be seen a Chicago Cubs pennant. This is a symbol of the high standards of success that these filmmakers hoped to reach.

The next morning, the 2 delivery men return to Jordan’s house to pick the TV back up. Seems that it was actually supposed to be delivered to the Institute for the Study of the Occult. I would not be surprised to find their offices located in someone’s basement, so I guess we can’t blame these guys too much. The delivery men then open the door to Jordan’s house only to find Jordan’s mauled body sitting in a chair in the entrance way. These zombies must have had one hell of a ball as one of them took the time to put a birthday hat on Jordan’s head. Well, that seemed a little out of the blue.

The film then jumps ahead 3 months. In that time, not only has Jordan’s house been put up for sale, but someone actually purchased the damn thing. Was there no investigation into Jordan’s death? Did someone at the coroner’s office say “Eh, looks like an accident”? And who the hell buys a house that was the scene of an unsolved murder just 3 months earlier? I’ve been in situations where I’ve needed to find a place to live PDQ, but I can’t say that I’ve ever been that desperate. Hey, at least the house came with a free TV.

We see a moving truck pull up to the house. We also get to see a taxi with a young woman asleep in the back. In her conveniently open hand is a shiny new house key with a ribbon tied to it. If you haven’t figured out by now that this is the house’s new occupant, then you also probably can’t read and have no clue that I am making fun of you.

This is Zoe, one of the film’s main characters.

Fun Fact: The 2 men waiting on the porch for Zoe when she arrives at her new house are, in fact, the movers and not Jehovah’s Witnesses.

As Zoe is in the kitchen of her new home putting away glassware, the film jumps to outside of the house and to a close-up of ragged, muddy jeans and boots. The camera mimics the footsteps of the “newcomer” as they walk through the yard and up the porch steps. The knob turns. Are the zombies already coming to get her? The door opens and there is the mandatory, cliched scene of a glass shattering on the floor. Why, it’s only her younger brother, Jeff! Oh, those deceptive directors and their red herrings. It’s at this time that we find out that the 2 siblings will be staying here alone for a while as their parents are in Saudi Arabia. I don’t believe it’s ever fully explained why they are there. Trust me, it’s not important.

The next morning, Jeff is awoken by someone ringing the doorbell. Outside is a man named Joshua Daniels. Josh is trying to locate the TV. He informs Jeff that the TV was accidentally delivered to his house a few months prior. Jeff tells Joshua that, as he just moved into the house, he knows nothing about the TV or the house’s former occupants. Jeff goes back inside as Daniels leaves and within seconds hears the still unplugged TV turn itself on upstairs in the attic. In what is surely a bad move, Jeff then brings the TV downstairs to his bedroom.

We then meet Jeff’s new neighbor, April. You can tell that April is supposed to be this movie’s “hot chick/love interest” from the saccharine sound of a bubblegum pop-rock song that accompanies her introduction. “Foolish Beat” it is not. April, in her snazzy sweater vest, walks a neighbor’s poodle. Jeff invites her in for a drink. Tired from walking this 2lb beast, April unleashes the dog, which promptly runs out the open front door and into the nearby woods where it is killed by one of the escaped Video Dead. While looking for the dog in the woods, April informs Jeff that he lives in what the townsfolk (or at least April) call the “murder house”. Needless to say, Jeff now questions his parents’ purchase. When they find the dead pooch, they concoct a story of the dog choking on a ball that some random person had thrown to it. I don’t know about you, but when I see bite marks on a corpse, my first thought is death by asphyxiation. Not that it makes any difference, but April later blames Jeff for throwing the ball. Dat bitch!

Back in his room later that night, Jeff plugs in his new TV and sits back to smoke a joint and veg in front of the tube. If this scene serves any real purpose at all, it is only to show that Jeff has no experience in the fine arts of rollin’ a doob. Stick to pipes, Jeff.

Jeff flips channels until he comes across a broadcast of an attractive blonde (well, attractive by this movie’s standards). The credits refer to her as “The Woman”. She then manifests in the flesh in Jeff’s room, where she then disrobes and tries to seduce Jeff. As they kiss, electricity flashes across the TV screen and she is suddenly back on the screen. As she taunts Jeff about the case of blue balls that she just left him with, a man walks in from offscreen and slits “The Woman’s” throat. He refers to himself as “The Garbageman” and warns Jeff that the “The Woman” and the zombies are real and are trying to escape into our world. A little late for that news.

The Garbageman tells Jeff that in order to prevent these creatures from escaping, Jeff will need to cover the screen with a mirror, reflective side facing the screen. Jeff takes the TV back to the attic and attempts to cover the screen with a mirror. Any doubts that Jeff had to the truth of this situation are then put to rest as one of the Video Dead reaches through the screen and grabs Jeff’s arm. Jeff cuts off its hand with a hatchet that just happened to be within reach. This is why I tend to leave such things just lying around. Sure, my son may lose a couple of fingers, but at least he’s prepared in case zombies ever crawl from the TV. I just hope he can hold the hatchet with those missing fingers.

The Video Dead continue their reign of slow-moving terror by killing off the remainder of the neighborhood. Albeit, a neighborhood that consists of 4 other people. It’s at this point that Joshua returns. And boy howdy, is he pissed. He blasts Jeff for not telling him sooner about the TV (that he actually didn’t know about) and the deaths that it has caused. Joshua informs us that the TV is evil. Really, Josh? What was your first hint? He also lets us know that the TV cannot be destroyed. He’s tried to destroy it in the past, but as he tells us, “it gets in your head. It makes you think and do things.” So, this TV has enough power to prevent you from smashing it with a sledgehammer, but not enough willpower to stop you from duct taping a mirror to it?

Jeff and Joshua decide that they must hunt the Video Dead the next morning. It’s at this point that we learn just how different the Video Dead are from other horror film zombies. Whereas a head shot would kill most zombies, these freaks can only be killed in 2 ways.

1.) Trap them in a place from which they cannot escape. They will then be forced to eat themselves.

or

B.) Attack them with weapons until you do enough bodily damage that they think that they should be dead.

That’s right, folks! The Video Dead may be the first and only horror movie where the antagonist(s) are defeated by giving them a complex. If only the Texas Chainsaw Massacre could have been averted just by telling Leatherface that he was getting “a little chubby”. Or by telling Jason that he’s “a little retarded”.

I won’t try to convince you that this is a good movie. It’s really not. That said, The Video Dead does score a few points for trying something different. It ditches the formula used by most zombie flicks and attempts to do its own things. While it does not do most of those things well, I have to give it credit for trying. One plus that I will give it is its score. The music really adds a great deal of atmosphere and suspense to the movie. The other downside here is that it sometimes does so when there is absolutely nothing happening. Suspenseful scene of raking leaves ahead!!!!! The movie also tries to add a little humor in, but the jokes tend to fall flat or just seem out-of-place due to their timing.

 David Bowie has really let himself go.

The Video Dead is available on a double feature Blu-ray (with the 80’s sci-fi/horror flick, Terrorvision) released by Scream Factory.

Thank you for indulging me on this little bit of nostalgia. And I’m sorry if my flashback misled you. It wasn’t my intention to mislead you. It never should have been this way. What can I say? It’s true, I did extend the invitation. I never knew how long you’d stay.

 


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THE VIDEO DEAD

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THE LAST UNICORN

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THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE

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ANTHROPOPHAGOUS : THE BEAST

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HOMETOWN U.S.A.

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MARK OF THE BEAST

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DINOSAURS : MIGHTY MEGALOSAURUS

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1000 MILLAS AL SUR

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DANGER IN BLUE

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G. WHILLIKER!

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APRIL 9 VHS MOVIE REVIEW : THE VIDEO DEAD (1987)
From horrorchronicles.com

Somewhat fun dose of comedic zombie horror sees a handful of undead emerging from a cursed TV set to butcher a few locals. Only a man who lost his wife to the same curse, and a couple of kids, can stop the evil.

It's played very much for soft laughs and that decision is what saves it from being a totally un-memorable experience. The zombies are fairly comical in their looks and actions, and they have a little fun bumping people off in humorous ways. The woman who ends up head first in a washing machine, the zombie who gets an iron stuck in his head when a victim defends herself. The decision to string one of the local kids up a tree and use him for bait. And the scene where a zombie wearing a wedding dress, pink nightgown, and wig chases someone through the woods was funny.

Make up effects are a bit patchy in places although for the most part it does the job, and there are a few gory scenes. Nothing that's going to churn your stomach, but it's effective in a tongue in cheek kind of way. It doesn't look too bad, although was not helped by the grainy quality of the copy I had (this is another minor gem that has yet to receive a DVD release).

Some refreshing changes are evident in the way the zombies act. Yep, they are still slow and stupid, but decapitation doesn't exactly kill them. Physical damage just incapacitates them for a while. They hate seeing their own reflections, but the key to killing them is in trapping them somewhere where they cannot escape, which makes them go crazy and self destruct. And they won't kill you if you don't show them any fear. Taken together, this leads to a charming dinner party scene where one of the kids cooks dinner for the zombies and plans to take them dancing!

All in all, it is a playful little film that is reasonably fun to watch. The humour element helps to keep it from being just another run of the mill zombie, although the pacing lets it down somewhat and much of the action feels contrived and awkward. Still, it's enjoyable enough, not a classic by any stretch of the imagination, but lighthearted fun.


APRIL 9 VHS MOVIE REVIEW : BEYOND DREAM'S DOOR (1988)

Ambitious little film, probably inspired by the writings of H.P. Lovecraft. College student Ben Dobbs (Nick Baldasare) begins to have a recurring nightmare from his childhood which has long been dormant, but thanks to sleep experiments that he is involved in, it becomes something that cannot be put to rest (no pun intended). Everyone that he tells about the dream ends up dead, killed by a long-clawed demon that rips the flesh from their bodies or squeezes their heads until the brains pop out. They then end up completely forgotten by everyone, except Ben, as if they never existed. Ben, with the help of Professor Eric Baxter (Rick Kesler), uncover the truth behind the dream. It involves a book written years before by a Mr. White (Dan White) who had the same dream as Ben. The demon needs the book to stay in the real world and Ben has the only remaining page of it in his possession. Ben must find a way to lure the demon back to the dream world where it can do no harm to anyone except to give bad nightmares. This is director Jay Woelfel's first full-length film, made with the cooperation of Ohio State University. Woelfel would later go on to direct UNSEEN EVIL (2001), DEMONICUS (2001) and TRANCERS 6 (2002) but, sadly, none of these shows the imagination on display here. Filmed with an extremely small budget, it earns point for actually being shot on film and not on video like most small independents. Sprinkled with nasty bits of gore and nudity to liven up the proceedings (some reviewers say this film is slow, but I think that's the way it was meant to be) and some amateur acting, BEYOND DREAM'S DOOR has a nightmare quality in the visuals and music (composed by Woelfel) that most films can only dream of creating. I liked it and if you give it a chance, I'm sure you will too. My only real complaint is that there's a short film of Woelfel's inserted in here called "Come To Me Softly" that really has nothing to do with the rest of the film. It was inserted at the distributor's request to add to the running time (86 minutes) and will be excised in the Director's Cut (80 minutes) soon to be released on DVD. The short will be an extra on the disk. Also starring Susan Pinsky, Norm Singer, John Dunleavy and Darby Vasbinder. A VidAmerica, Inc. Home Video Release. Not Rated. Note: Jay Woefel's next film is GHOST LAKE, which he promises to be better than the quickie films he had to make for producer Charlie Band and the like, since he had total creative control. I, for one, can't wait to see it. See the EMail Section for more information. For more on Jay Woelfel, go to his website: www.JayWoelfel.com. { text from critcononline.com }
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